AAAARRRRGH!!! I absolutely HATE when I do that.

November 17 -- transferred from myspace blog

I'm not one to blurt out my feelings as soon as they well up in me. I'm simply one to let them simmer and simmer until they all come boiling out. I think and think and think about things until they drive me nuts and then I just have to write them down and share them with somebody.

This wouldn't be such a bad thing, except that so often, I share these things with people who never asked and who probably hardly care. I did that this morning – basically told my life story to someone who hardly knows me. UGH! I hate when I do that. And I do it rather often.
Whenever it happens, I end up getting immersed in insecurity; a million questions surround my brain. Why did I do that? What will he think of me? Will he ever look at me the same again? Why do I even care? Why do I always have to defend myself even when I'm not directly being attacked? Why do I have this insane incessant need to tell my entire life story to strangers? Why is it so damn important to me to be understood? Why? Why? Why?

I don't want to be the person who lives on the edge of society when I'm on this site. That's why I don't post my real name. Whenever I'm here, I just want to be the person who knows and loves music. That's all. Nothing more. Ugh, I drive myself crazy.