My husband wrote me a letter the other night. It happens once every few years when the emotions run so deep they can't be spoken. Insecurity had been plaguing us both.
He was feeling inadequate and I was feeling defensive.
We talked afterwards -- a good long talk with much laughter and little interruption. I'm convinced once again that the truth really does set you free. He said he'd always been jealous of all my guy friends. What guy friends? I haven't spoken to a guy since we got married nearly a decade ago. This apparently was an issue unresolved from our college dating days. I pestered him -- Who? Who were you jealous of? I can't even think of anyone.
He went through every possible person there was for him to be jealous of back in college. It turned out he was mostly despising the "cool, rockin', willing to dye their hair green" guys with whom I could share my music. Dh never was honored as a cool guy amongst his peers.
Then I went through every possible person there was for me to be jealous of back in college. It turned out I was mostly despising the "stable, loving, happy, homemaker" girls with whom nobody argued. I never was honored as a stable girl amongst my peers.
So there it was, all out in the open. And in the end, we laughed at how absurd it was to think that I'd marry anyone that wasn't reliable or that he'd marry anyone that wasn't dramatic.
Even though we're fairly certain we are loved by our spouses, it's always reassurring to know just exactly why.
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