Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Goodbye lover. Farewell. LYF.

Mark this day, October 7th. Isn't it the feast of Our Lady of Victory or something? Oh, every day is something, isn't it? Well, for years to come, I shall remember this day as my own day of victory.

For months, I've been singing, It's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted. Yeah, I've been singing that song.

You all can call me a hypocrite. You all can call me a horrible sinner. You can shove it in my face that I now have loads more purgatory time than I did before April 2nd when I first met him. But I learned a lot. I changed a lot. I got a lot stronger. And I don't regret it completely.

Truth be told, he was never truly my friend. But I'm being as honest as honest can be when I say that I loved him. I can't quite explain it, but some strange mixed up kind of love was there. And for me, it was completely real.

Today, I got the last piece of the puzzle to be able to let it go. I can't quite explain it. But my eyes were opened and my heart was released. I realized that I wasn't responsible for him, that I never was. I don't have to feel obligated toward him anymore. I never needed to feel obligated in the first place. I'm at peace with it now. Yet, I know I'll miss him.

Goodbye lover. That was his farewell to me. I leaned over, kissed him on the cheek and said, Farewell. LYF.

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